July 14 2017

Been a while..

It’s been a while since I last wrote. My Skyrim house project lies abandoned while I play Stormblood.

I rerolled my SCH to AST, decided to level BTN and get on that CUL thing while I slowly work towards the Goddess of Magic title.

But mostly, I feel the need to rant. I want to shout in frustration and shake people until they get their act together, but I can’t do that.

My mother is ill. She needs to pace herself, balance her energy expenditure and sacrifice a lot of her old life so she can maintain a certain quality of life for longer.

But she’s not doing that. She’s sticking her head in the sand, pretending it’s all the doctor’s responsibility now and just not taking care of herself. Sure, the medicine makes you hungry. I get that eating is something to immediately, if briefly, satisfy that void that used to be filled with hobbies and accomplishments – but weighing almost twice a healthy weight is only increasing the strain on already overworkes lungs. No amount of physical therapy is going to improve that situation.

I’ve told her all of this before, given her all the tools and help I can, but she won’t do it. She doesn’t listen to my dad or sister either.

I’m just so worried she’ll continue down this path, worried I’ll have to bury my mom in 5 years because she didn’t want to make changes now.

I’m scared and I don’t know what to do.

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